That was hard for me to write. I hate quitting or what appears to be quitting. My upbringing required a lot of tenacity and determination. Those are great skills to have when you are attempting to accomplish anything. Like most things there needs to be balance.
I also hate endings and struggle with leaving anything even when it is clear that the time has come for a change. I used to freeze when an opportunity would come because I would think I would have to be committed to it for the long haul. It didn’t matter what it was, a new job, volunteering, etc. Anything that did not have an end date I started to avoid or I would procrastinate with the decision and then I would stay with it too long. It is one downside to those traits.
I share this with you because when you are in the early stages of parenthood there is so much pressure put on our decisions that affect our family. We don’t want to make any mistakes and so we tend to struggle with the process of making any necessary changes when the time comes.
As you think about staying at home or going back to work I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and consider that the decision you make doesn’t have to be forever. In fact, life will make sure of that. You have a right to change your mind if the decision you made is just not working. And you will know. It will feel like the grace has lifted for you to continue to do what you decided to do. It could be an external pressure or change like a job loss, or sick parent, spouse or child. Or your own personal emotional or physical well being. Things are not flowing like they used to no matter how many adjustments you make you just know it is no longer working.
With anything it is great to have touchpoints or check-in times to re-evaluate if the path you are going is still the right one. Do not obsess over it (“Did I make the right decision?). You want to be fully in the decision you made because double-mindedness causes confusion. I want to challenge you to make a point periodically to stop and make sure that the reason you made the choice is still valid. Has anything changed that would warrant a shift? There may need to be a redirect or a small adjustment to stay the course.
Remember, whatever decision you make begin with the end in mind and remember that it doesn’t have to be forever. There is power in decision making.
Do you have a problem with shifting or making changes? What boundaries or check-points can you set up to help along the way?
I also hate endings and struggle with leaving anything even when it is clear that the time has come for a change. I used to freeze when an opportunity would come because I would think I would have to be committed to it for the long haul. It didn’t matter what it was, a new job, volunteering, etc. Anything that did not have an end date I started to avoid or I would procrastinate with the decision and then I would stay with it too long. It is one downside to those traits.
I share this with you because when you are in the early stages of parenthood there is so much pressure put on our decisions that affect our family. We don’t want to make any mistakes and so we tend to struggle with the process of making any necessary changes when the time comes.
As you think about staying at home or going back to work I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and consider that the decision you make doesn’t have to be forever. In fact, life will make sure of that. You have a right to change your mind if the decision you made is just not working. And you will know. It will feel like the grace has lifted for you to continue to do what you decided to do. It could be an external pressure or change like a job loss, or sick parent, spouse or child. Or your own personal emotional or physical well being. Things are not flowing like they used to no matter how many adjustments you make you just know it is no longer working.
With anything it is great to have touchpoints or check-in times to re-evaluate if the path you are going is still the right one. Do not obsess over it (“Did I make the right decision?). You want to be fully in the decision you made because double-mindedness causes confusion. I want to challenge you to make a point periodically to stop and make sure that the reason you made the choice is still valid. Has anything changed that would warrant a shift? There may need to be a redirect or a small adjustment to stay the course.
Remember, whatever decision you make begin with the end in mind and remember that it doesn’t have to be forever. There is power in decision making.
Do you have a problem with shifting or making changes? What boundaries or check-points can you set up to help along the way?
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