Last week my Facebook and text messages were flooded with birth announcements (born and to-be born). There had been at least one baby born every day within my sphere of family and friends. If you read my last newsletter I mentioned the baby “boom” that I predicated in the summer and fall of 2014 thanks to an early, frigid and long winter here in Minnesota. I don't want to say I told you so...
In contrast, I was also aware of an unusually large number of people dropping their kids off at college. It shouldn’t be a surprise because people have been sending their kids to college for years. However, similar to the baby boom this was particularly noticeable with family and friends. Parents (mostly moms) bidding a tearful farewell to their college bound young adults. This particular time it hit me personally as we introduced our daughter to what will be the extension of us for the next 4+ years.
I’ve been tearful and weepy since June, they have been tears of joy but they have also been tears of regret. Is there anyone else struggling with this?
The regret of rushing to the next phase
I was a single mother for almost eight years and she was my little side-kick. Being a single parent has its challenges but being a child of a single parent has its own unique hurdles as well. I’ve personally experienced both.
It was exhausting to parent solo especially at night and I needed her to hurry up and grow - to get to the next phase.
So, she was encouraged to learn how to walk on her own asap because mom's hands were always full.
She soon developed a pace that she still follows - hesitant to slow down and take in a moment.
Having a child in daycare that is not potty-trained costs much more so I needed her to potty-train asap.
She now lives a life focused and driven to accomplish things but doesn't understand that just because you can do something means that you are mentally and emotionally ready to do them.
Don’t get me wrong. She is an amazing young lady and I am often humbled by how she turned out in spite of our beginnings - in spite of the mistakes I made.
So I have regrets. I wish I hadn't worried so much about rushing through bedtime routines and getting her to sleep through the night but instead enjoyed the quiet still nights after a hectic day.
I wish I didn't worry so much about her becoming independent because when independence came it was harder to release her into it. By that time I wanted things to slow down - her to slow down.
I wish I didn't question every single decision I made and trusted my heart and my mother’s instinct because it never led me wrong.
If you are in the stage where you are so tired you can’t think or you could just cry, or you have little ones circling you and bickering and fighting so much you want to pull your hair out, just know that in a blink of an eye they will be young men and women getting ready to leave the nest. I know it is cliché and if one more person tells you to cherish the moments when you are barely keeping it together you may punch them- I totally get it. But it’s true. So true.
Your are fearfully and wonderfully made,
Natalia
In contrast, I was also aware of an unusually large number of people dropping their kids off at college. It shouldn’t be a surprise because people have been sending their kids to college for years. However, similar to the baby boom this was particularly noticeable with family and friends. Parents (mostly moms) bidding a tearful farewell to their college bound young adults. This particular time it hit me personally as we introduced our daughter to what will be the extension of us for the next 4+ years.
I’ve been tearful and weepy since June, they have been tears of joy but they have also been tears of regret. Is there anyone else struggling with this?
The regret of rushing to the next phase
I was a single mother for almost eight years and she was my little side-kick. Being a single parent has its challenges but being a child of a single parent has its own unique hurdles as well. I’ve personally experienced both.
It was exhausting to parent solo especially at night and I needed her to hurry up and grow - to get to the next phase.
So, she was encouraged to learn how to walk on her own asap because mom's hands were always full.
She soon developed a pace that she still follows - hesitant to slow down and take in a moment.
Having a child in daycare that is not potty-trained costs much more so I needed her to potty-train asap.
She now lives a life focused and driven to accomplish things but doesn't understand that just because you can do something means that you are mentally and emotionally ready to do them.
Don’t get me wrong. She is an amazing young lady and I am often humbled by how she turned out in spite of our beginnings - in spite of the mistakes I made.
So I have regrets. I wish I hadn't worried so much about rushing through bedtime routines and getting her to sleep through the night but instead enjoyed the quiet still nights after a hectic day.
I wish I didn't worry so much about her becoming independent because when independence came it was harder to release her into it. By that time I wanted things to slow down - her to slow down.
I wish I didn't question every single decision I made and trusted my heart and my mother’s instinct because it never led me wrong.
If you are in the stage where you are so tired you can’t think or you could just cry, or you have little ones circling you and bickering and fighting so much you want to pull your hair out, just know that in a blink of an eye they will be young men and women getting ready to leave the nest. I know it is cliché and if one more person tells you to cherish the moments when you are barely keeping it together you may punch them- I totally get it. But it’s true. So true.
Your are fearfully and wonderfully made,
Natalia
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