Things I've learned in 50 births

In the last 5 years, I’ve attended around 50 births as a birth doula. Professionally I’ve grown and expanded in the way I approach this line of work, and I’ve learned so much. Each birth is totally unique and marvelous in its own way. Its truly a humbling experience to be present for each one. To commemorate the first 50, I give you this post. In my first 50 births, here is what I’ve learned as a doula.

1. Women are far stronger than they ever imagine or realize.
2. The design of birth is perfect and beyond wondrous. It makes me stand in awe of creation.
3. I’m always grateful to be at a birth. Always.
4. Midwives are the most amazing combination of personalized care and skill that exists in all of humankind.
5. Birth workers of all kinds really deeply care for their clients and patients.
6. Babies have a terribly underestimated strong intuition and intelligence about them.
7. Dads are amazing.
8. Medication is not evil. Sometimes it’s very important.
9. Home birth is not for everyone.
10. Neither is hospital birth.
11. Affirmations are powerful.
12. Doulas deserve to be compensated for their time away from their families and it’s ok for us to practice like that.
13. The more births I attend, the more I realize moms need more of my support and presence and less of my bag of tools.
14. Cesareans save some moms and babies.
15. Other times, they are terribly risky.
16. The mind / body connection in birth is unbelievably powerful.
17. Quality Childbirth Education is indescribably crucial.
18. No intervention, natural or pharmaceutical, is risk free.
19. I can summon energy from seemingly nowhere when I need to.
20. Similarly, I can sleep anywhere, in any position, when I need to.
21. Babies are full humans with emotional, physical and spiritual dimensions.
22. “Textbook” labor” only exists in the textbooks.
23. Women greatly underestimate their awesomeness, and it’s a crying shame that society does too.
24. A birth doula and a birth activist are not the same thing.
25. The role of a doula is totally unique to the support and care team.
26. Dads need doulas as much as moms do.
27. Sometimes I need a doula too.
28. Birth is very very very hard work.
29. It is equally empowering.
30. Alternative care in pregnancy really does make pregnancy and birth healthier.
31. Emotions and relationships play a woefully understated role in the way a birth plays out.
32. Birth needs to be private. It’s not a group event.
33. Every woman’s body responds to medication, natural interventions, and support in their own unique and unpredictable way.
34. Castor oil really does work to induce labor. So does nipple stimulation.
35. But nothing works for everyone every time.
36. If moms could see themselves through my eyes, they might just be frightened by their own power.
37. Doula work can be applied to many uncertain situations in life. For example I doulaed my dad in the months before he died. Being a doula prepared me for that in ways I could never have imagined.
38. Doulas can not do this without the support of their families. Mine is amazing.
39. There are two ways to look at birth: normal, or dangerous. The lens you see through will surely manifest itself in the way your birth turns out.
40. It’s equally exciting to know the sex of the baby before the birth as it is to learn it at the moment of birth.
41. I need to take care of me so I can take care of the family I’m serving.
42. When doctors and midwives work together in collaborative care, unbelievably amazing things happen.
43. Each woman has her own coping mechanism that is individual to her. She may not even know it but I recognize it.
44. The powerful stillness of the space where a woman rests between contractions leaves me speechless every time.
45. Natural birth is awesome.
46. So is medicated birth.
47. So is surgical birth.
48. The end of pregnancy brings a discomfort that makes women desire labor to start, even though they know what kind of intensity comes with labor.
49. Oxytocin is the world’s most powerful drug.
50. I love this work so very much.

Inspiration for this blog came from Tiffany Miler: my doula, midwife, and dearest friend.

Written by guest contributor, Rachel Madrigal. A birth doula since 2010 and childbirth educator since 2014, Rachel recently moved to the midwest from Colorado. She has since been a regular contributor to the A Woman’s Design blog. In her career, she’s served as both the President and the Treasurer of the Pikes Peak Regional Doula Association, and the coordinator for the Colorado Springs chapter of the Birth Network. A homeschool mom to her 4 crazy kids, she enjoys family time, a riveting book, movie dates with her husband, life in the country, snowboarding, travel, journaling, and a big glass of red wine after a long week.
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